Thursday, October 11, 2007
Confusion is Good
Yes, I know that sounds a little odd (may be very odd!!). But I mean it. For me, it was not so some time ago, but now I realize that we need confusion in our life to find out what life is all about. I am not talking about the mess that one creates in one’s life because of one’s wrong perceptions and the decisions that one makes, even though that too helps to a great extent if only you would look at it in the way it should be looked. But often (and very often for some), we are faced with problems and predicaments which baffle us and we don’t know how to get through them. In short, we get into that most dreaded mental state called confusion. I said to get through the problems because that’s what the majority of us want; we don’t want to get over it. To get over the predicaments require courage, flexibility and persistence and when we get over them, we evolve, that’s the truth. But we don’t want it. Most of us don’t want to surmount the problems; we just want to get it over with, to get instant relief in some way. We are reluctant to grow or evolve, it is painful. The most powerful and successful people in the world are not so because they had no problems in their lives; they are so because they saw their problems as challenges, as opportunities to expand and become more. Is it because all of them are much wiser than the vast majority of us who “live lives of quiet desperation”? I doubt it. Most probably, the reason should be that they willfully accepted the confusion the problems brought with them, and went through it.
Whenever you are faced with a problem and your present knowledge and resources do not help you in finding the right solution, you are confused. In fact, sometimes we would feel that we have made a fool out of ourselves if that problem is a result of our own decisions and consequent actions. Then and there you have a choice; you can choose whether to continue in that state and feel bad about yourself or, to face the problem accepting the fact that the resources available to you are inadequate and put forth your efforts to find a way, no matter what it takes. If you choose the first option, you belong to the mass of mediocrity and you are running away from the situation. You don’t deserve those higher realms of wisdom and internal power that life will gift you with, if only you will have the commitment to persist in spite of anything. Life’s rewards are reserved for those few, who take the latter option. These are the people who grow and also, become capable of contributing meaningfully to the world. Am I suggesting that you make a martyr out yourself and succumb if you can’t get through? Of course not. I only mean that you be firmly committed to find a way, be alert to notice what is not working and have the flexibility to change your approach. In fact, this is called the Ultimate Success Formula. Let me say it again: you make a decision, you take massive action, you develop your alertness to notice what is not working and you keep changing your approach until you get what you want. But firstly, how would you decide what is the right solution to the problem? The best way is to find out people who have already faced similar problems and gotten over them; those whom we call role-models (many use this term so frequently, not knowing what it actually means!). If only you will have that “holy curiosity” (as Einstein put it) and the courage to persist, you will definitely be able to find out the right person as your guide. The best thing that you can do on a consistent basis is to associate with the right people, those who have the passion to accept and face challenges, to march forward in life and also the meekness to share what they have learned during their journey of life. Such an association will give you a positive focus and the ability to face challenges. The best antidote to confusion is to develop consciously a sense of curiosity towards the problem and ask yourself empowering questions like:
“What’s great about this problem?”
“Why is this problem so overwhelming to me?”
“What are the possible solutions?”
“What resources do I have to face this problem?”
“How can I get additional resources?”
And the best one:
“What can I learn from this experience and how can I use it to empower myself?”
It is a proven fact that asking the right questions helps to change what one is focusing on, dramatically. But simply asking these questions will not help. You have to feel that curiosity. Ask with a sense of certainty and positive expectancy. Keep asking to yourself and in time you will get the answers from within yourself. Are these my ideas? Definitely not! Of course, I have benefited a lot by learning them, but I have learned them from my role-models. Open your eyes and you will surely find people like them. Who knows, may be you would become a one like them, for someone else…….
Labels: art of decision making, change management, cofusion, Decision, growth, self help
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